She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
