so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize