you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
