that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
