Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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