Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
