Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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