all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
