Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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