Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
