I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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