we have officially lost it.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
