I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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