RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can I color on your dick again?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize