I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize