So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I looked at my own cervix.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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