he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize