That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
