yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
