I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
