how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
