singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
