I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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