About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
