dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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