And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize