If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
