I accidentally burped into my bong.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
