playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
