I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize