Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
