I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize