Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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