even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
