Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish you could order shots online.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
