No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
