ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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