mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
