Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My ATM looks so different sober.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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