it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
