a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
