Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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