it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize