I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
