idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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