She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
