Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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