oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
