Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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