I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
