1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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