OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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