OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
