fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
