She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize