I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They have beer where we have blood.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize