So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
