he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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