I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
