goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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