For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
