dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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