Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
