Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize