i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
