i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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