Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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