we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
