at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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