i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
