I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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