I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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