Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
