I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
