I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
