wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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